Tick..Tock..Tick..Tock..

So, there must be something in the water around here lately. It seems like everyone is getting pregnant. I'd say about half of my friends either have a child already or they are currently pregnant. I know to be smart, and have a stable job, house, and money before starting my family. However, I am still a woman, I want to start a family soon. Hopefully in the next year or so. I have brought this up to my current boyfriend, he is a little younger than me, he says he wants a family but is scared to start one. I don't blame him actually i mean i know that i want to start a family but i am mostly going upon my biological time clock and not looking at the big picture.

Part of me wishes that i would accidentally get pregnant so I dont have to think about all the consequenses sounds bad right? I mean that because then it wouldn't be something that i planned and thinking it through would no longer apply. I wouldn't do that anyways however since i know its not fair. plus i am on birth control kinda hard to have a oopsie when your on the pill.

Ugh sometimes i hate being a woman.

New Years Eve!

Finally 2011 is going to be over, hasn't been a good year. Thought it would be my year actually though., I had a blast thru the begining of 2011 then met my new boyfriend in the middle of 2011, however my mom got real sick in this year. By the time help finally arrived at her door, she was almost on death's door. I quit my job to stay home and take care of her with help from my dad. She now is better, back to her old self again, I find myself in tears sometimes just thinking about how hard it was,and how close we were to loosing her.

Then, mid December my cousin committed suicide, he was only 16 infact had just turned 16. It's sad cause he was my cousin on my dad's side so him and I shared the same last name. Something affects you more I feel when the names are the same or, they connect in some way. I wasn't super close to him, but I still was hit hard by it, we have had 2 suicides in our family now, and that's 2 too many.

What am I doing for the new years? Not too sure, have alot of offers but nothing that im sticking with. Im jobless at the moment so can't even afford to go out and get a bottle of champagne. But, we will see, my boyfriend has to work tonight so im really hoping he doesn't have to work past midnight.

Well, think im going to go and start my day, see where it leads me. I will see you guys later.

New Years is comin fast...

Hey guys, Im tryin to figure out what to do this new years. I made a bunch of friends last winter, however as I got into a relationship I didn't find it fun to go to ladies night anymore, cause my boyfriend couldn't go. Now, i know what your thinking ," oh what you can only have fun with your boyfriend?" No, but one of my friends boyfriend works at the place, and everyone else who has one in our group has a choice if they want to go or not. Mine, has a clipped license so he can't go. Its not fun to go out drinkin with you know that your boyfriend is sitting at home doing nothing. So ive lost contact with alot of them, part of me is fine with it cause i feel they were only my party friends not close ones. I thought one of them was close, infact we almost moved in together. But she turned out to be fake just like the rest of them.

Sorry i dont wanna party and drink all the time, that doesn't mean we can't hang out and chill outside of the bar. Now i will say a few of them did text me to hang out outside of the bar, but very few. Makes me sorta sad, but i gotta keep thinkin, I met them when i broke up with my old boyfriend and i kinda think they saved me from going back to him. They kept my mind off of him and kept me busy.

Well, hopefully ill find a sure thing to do on New years, wish me luck!

Up again...

I usually only get 3 hours of sleep each night, not sure why. Frustrating kinda, before I got my lap top it sure was, nothing to do. I can only watch so much of American Life of a Teenager before I wanna rip my hair out. Usually Ill play Sims on the Xbox that usually passes up a good amount of time. I live with my boyfriend, so he has no problem with sleeping in, that's for sure.

Anyways, so what I was talking about before, Kathy is about 20 weeks along, according to what she heard from the doctor, she found out it was a girl. How do I feel? It's really none of my business i know that, but i feel like im dragged into this because im living with Tommy as well and as we know he is the father of the baby. Its constantly talked about, really getting old in my opinion. I feel sorta bad for her, cause i know her thoughts and intentions are not in the right place, from what i think she is only keeping her baby cause she wants to hold on to Tommy. Even though there is no way she can afford to keep the baby. Makes me sorta upset to know that she would risk the child's life and up bringing because she wants to keep a guy. But i guess to everyone their own.

Well imma try and get some sleep, hope I can get a few more hours in, if not, sure you will see another post from me in a few mins. Night guys.

The other girl

Ok so Im new at this, but here goes nothing...

So I recently have started dating this wonderful guy, he has a buddy that lives with him. I actually met my boyfriend through his friend (we will call him Tommy) Well Tommy started dating this girl who we will call Kathy, she seems nice, however later down the road she crossed lines that I can't now get myself to be complete friends with her. Anyways, I moved in with my boyfriend and his family, Tommy, my boyfriend, Kathy and myself all shared ONE room, yeah ONE. It wasn't really anything that I couldn't live with until I find out that before I came into the picture my boyfriend had a crush on her.

She is the type of girl who flirts super bad, flaunts her body, all the stuff that I'm most insecure about she had. Now imagine finding this out, now having to share a room with her in there. Many times she would walk around the room in her booty shorts, bending over at the waist right infront of my boyfriend and I, which really made me upset. I trust him and know that he wouldn't do anything with her. Also I know that the more he got to know her the more he knows shes an air head.

I thought I was finally going to get some relief when Tommy and her broke up, she went home. I was finally happy since now I don't have to worry about her whipping out her chest infront of everyone including my boyfriend! I feel like I sound really childish but for some reason just hearing her name is like nails on a chalk board. Well now, we find out she is pregnant with Tommy's child (as far as we know) so I am hearing her name more and more each day.

Am I really being childish about this all?